Paula Deen's voice makes me want to vomit....and other ramblings.

1. I don't understand the love affair that America has with Paula Deen. Her voice grates on me to the point that I feel nauseated. It's a mix of a headcold, the south, and a purring cat. Ick.
2. I also hate George W. Bush's voice. Now I realize a great deal of the reason for this dislike could be my utter contempt for everything he believes in, but his accent is so infuriating. We are from the same place (except, of course, he has an Ivy League education and I don't), but my voice is fairly innocuous, with just a hint of an accent when I get mad or get around too many Texans, while he sounds like the guy that works down the street at the gas station.
3. I love how wine tastes, but it makes my feet feel hot.
4. Can anyone tell me the difference between Andy Williams and Tony Bennett? Which one sings "Moon River"? I love that song.
5. If Oprah is going to go all over the country campaigning and may be the only person that could single handedly swing the vote, why doesn't she just run for president herself?
6. Blue lights are my favorite color for Christmas lights. Even though blue isn't a traditional Christmas color, they still give me the most Christmasy feeling.
7. I love Alan Alda - I think that the tall and skinny Hawkeye Pierce is still the sexiest man on television.
8. Come to think of it, I like tall guys in general. CJ from Top Chef was by FAR my favorite chef of the season. Although I really liked Sandee, too - her fauxhawk was adorable.
9. Girls with fauxhawks are hot.
10. Girls with guitars and fauxhawks are really hot.

1-2-3-4

Feist is Numero Cinco (that's 5, people) on PopCandy on USATODAY.com. I have been lovin' this song on the ipod commercials, but I the entire video is the coolest thing since OkGO danced on treadmills. And oh, I wish I looked that good in a blue-sparkle cat suit.

Oh, it's that label discussion again.

I'd like to begin this post by clarifying that I am NOT an expert when it comes anything. I tend to be humble, I don't ever want people to think that I am full of myself. But I have to admit something, I have a damn good girl-gaydar. I can spot a lez a mile away. It is so finely attuned (and has been throughout my adult years) that for the longest time, I thought other people were just being stupid when they couldn't see that someone was so CLEARLY in the family. I always thought "HOW CAN THEY BE SO BLIND??"

In no way do I condone judging someone by her appearance (that of course is meant as a disclaimer since I am about to discuss how I judge people by their appearances). The clothes someone wears, the way she styles her hair, that is all fluff (but a good indicator to look closer). I see gay - let me rephrase - I see queer ;) in the way a woman walks, or stands, or reacts to a surpise. There is a dash of discomfort (I don't fit into my own body or I feel out of place, like I don't belong) mixed with a subtle hint of "fuck you, I'll be whoever I want to be." YA know what I mean? And of course, there are other little hints - body language and tone of voice that reveal attraction to other women around them. OH, and soooo many lesbians wear man pants...what's with the man pants, ladies???? Okay, sorry, I get upset about the man pants.

I've often wondered how I came to have this amazing power... and it's frustrating because once I spot a live one, I secretly admonish myself for making a judgement from appearance alone. It's a Catch 22 (and perhaps, also, an indicator of some sort of mental disorder, but moving on...)

I have to admit, when I was in the middle of my "Am I really gay" drama, I put a lot of stock in my girl-gaydar, I felt that it was somehow a sign to me that YES! You're GAY (ya know, like only gay people have gayday, so I must be gay...). But to tell you the truth, it isn't clear. I think there are so many people that are...for lack of a better word... fluid. They might live as a straight person, or live as a gay person, or sleep with anyone, regardless of anatomy. And that is FINE with me. So why...WHY... do I insist on putting a label on someone (even if it is just in my head)? Am I just looking for common ground? A possible future date? I don't know, it's tricky.

UPDATE: like right now, there is a lesbian on Jeopardy! She seems like she'd be cool, even if she doesn't know what the largest island in the pacific is.

On my nightstand...

I just want everyone to understand why I am poor. Here is a list of the books on my nightstand (this list doesn't include the 6 or so magazines that I buy randomly each month).

• Head First HTML withh CSS & XHTML by Freeman and Freeman (Guide to programing in HTML)
• Sew U by Wendy Mullin (Guide to learning how to sew)
• Is it a Date or Just Coffee by Mo Brownsey
• Backlash: The Undeclared War Against American Women [15th Anniversary Edition] by Susan Faludi
• Punk Marketing by Richard Laermer and Mark Simmons
• Hip: The History by John Leland
• Bohemian Paris by Dan Franck
• Harvard Business Essentials: Finance for Managers
• The HR Scorecard by Becker, Huselhid and Ulrich
• Feminist Theory: From Margin to Center by bell hooks
• Basic Black by Cathie Black

OH! Plus Double Abduction by Chris Beakey, the new bookclub selection for the gay and lesbian BC that I'm joining in Hagerstown, MD (buy yours here)

Add in some lefty propoganda mags (always BITCH, always Curve) and an some fine art magazines and that's why I can't afford to buy a car, even though my clutch is shot. I'm book poor.

Indigo Girls Lyric of the Week

I heard that you were drunk and mean down at the dairy queen.

There's just enough of you in me for me to have sympathy.

And take it in stride, I know I had mine.

And you were as kind, I am told.

Ain't it funny how we lose one day and a lifetime slips away.

I'm looking back on us that way, something I never thought I'd say.

~AR

Look Both Ways

I've just finished (after much distraction, procrastination, and general silliness) Jennifer Baumgardner's most recent book: Look Both Ways - Bisexual Politics. Now - just a little back story on Baumgardner herself and my purchase of the book.

Baumgardner moved into the limelight with her first work Manifesta: Young Women, Feminism and the Future (with writing partner Amy Richards). I haven't read it. Her new work, LBW, is an interesting, if not slightly schizophrenic, leap into the bisexual WOMAN's role in the worlds of feminism and lesbianism. She discusses her own life and relationships at length, including a few stories about Amy Ray, one half of the Indigo Girls. Here's the hitch. Contrary to what other's might think, I did not pick up this book and decide to read it because it had anything to do with Amy Ray. In fact, I was driven to put it down for several weeks when Baumgardner began speaking intimately about AR. I just didn't want to know. I've put both Amy Ray and Emily Saliers on pedestals, I didn't want it ruined. I didn't want to know that AR was some sort of butch lesbian Lothario (even though I have heard rumors of it before this book). I didn't want to know that she was sleeping with and loving a droll, blond bisexual. But I eventually recovered and came to peace with trying to understand AR as a person, not just as the musical and political genius that I have pigeon-holed her to be.

But I digress. When I purchased the book, my girlfriend immediately questioned whether I considered myself a bisexual. At this I was highly offended. I've had relationships with men, I identified myself as straight for most of my life, and I was married to a man. But once I came to terms with the gaps in my life - the gay gaps - as I call them, I gratefully and willingly embraced the label of "lesbian." But the truth of the matter is, I still like men. While it is tempting to write off the entire male of the species as misogynistic pigs, lacking sensitivity or intellectual depth, I see examples everyday that prove this untrue. There are men in my life that I laugh with, flirt with, and are attracted to. But that has very little to do with my choice to be a lesbian. Being a lesbian is like being part of the club that I never knew I always wanted to be in. We are funny, we are brash, we are sensitive and honest and passionate and complex. Why wouldn't one want to join? And I have, and it is by choice. That is the sticking point, for myself and for Baumgardner. She seems driven to point out that some choose homosexual relationships, for the sex, for the closeness, for many reasons. But some have no choice. Ironically, some of those with a natural predisposition of homosexual attractions have exluded and belittled those that are predisposed to vacillate between sexualities. Sadly, while the gay community has pushed at length for acceptance of the homosexual lifestyle, it has also bred a reverse bigotry towards those that choose not to commit to a choice.

And while I saw little in the way of politics - and little in the way of a cohesive message (like I have room to talk) - I was moved by the book to give more consideration to bisexuality, lesbian sexuality, and the need for labels in a culture that has worked so dilligently to promote acceptance.

Gobble Gobble

Howdy Folks! Happy Thanksgiving. First, the Indigo Girls pic of the week:

Yes, I agree...this is a wierd photo. Emily looks like a mom (she always does when they put pink lipstick on her) and you can't even see Amy under that Cuban mafia hat. Not only that, but she looks like she's puttin' the moves on Emily, which is just wierd somehow.

Anyways, on to other things. Per my post yesterday, I have a crush on the girl that plays "Emmy Beever" on Exes and Ohs. Depending on where you look, her name is either Amy E. Thompson or Amy Dudgeon. Did she get married? Oh Amy, don't marry a boy...come on over to the darkside! You won't ever have to worry about living up to patriarchal male stereotypes AGAIN! And, we've got Ellen!

Irregardless, she's a cutie - she's like a younger Emily Saliers with an attitude (please don't take that the wrong way, Emily, I'll always love you best). WAIT....Emmy, Emily! Holy Shit!.... Anyway, here she is introducing fans to the Beever Cafe (hey, I didn't make it up...).

Lesbian Drama... the fictional kind

I have recently become slightly addicted to The Big Gay Sketch Show on Logo (actually I have downloaded them from itunes.) Please, for the love of all that is holy, you MUST check out this show. My favorite sketches have included a Lesbian version of "Facts of Life" [sidebar: I KNEW that Jo and Blair secretly wanted to get it on!], Lesbian phone sex (the operator teases the caller with "dirty" talk about vegan potlucks and organizing a ralley for greenpeace), and, MY FAV, a hilarious - and oddly honest - skit entitled "Lesbian Speedating." In less than two minutes the ladies fall in love, make-out, get two cats, and break-up. Nice.

One of the stars of the show is the very funny Julie Goldman (here she is doing a "celesbian" interview with the GORGEOUS Alexandra Hedison). I first saw her in the movie Mom at the Reel Awakenings Film Festival in Hagerstown, MD. She looks and acts disturbingly like an old roomate of mine. But that's beside the point. You've just GOT to check it out.

Crush for the day: Amy Dudgeon from Exes and Ohs.. more about this later....

Takin over the world....

I bring good tidings. There is an out lesbian running for the house seat from the 6th congressional district in Maryland currenly filled by Roscoe Bartlett. Her name is Robin Deibert...here's her official election site: http://www.deibertforcongress.com/

Her platform is what I would expect of a rougue, lesbian candidate - pro gay rights, environmentally minded, against the "war" in Iraq. She stands for a good deal of what I stand for but, sadly I'm sure she has NO CHANCE to win. But I applaud her point of view. It's shocking, brave, and refreshing. Good luck, Robin.

But I'm not sure that I will vote for Robin, and the reason is simple: I believe that there might be another lesbian running for office that I think has a much greater chance of winning. She's certainly managed to piss-off the old boys club. And she was railroaded by the OBC while she was mayor of Frederick. She has made no public statement about her sexuality, and I can respect that, so I will say no more about it now.

Now, here's hoping ONE of these candidates will beat the pants off of Roscoe Bartlett (although I will miss his pontifications on "family-values" and his bad dentures). Bleck.

Lyric- line of the week

"Don't drink the water

there seems to be something ailing everyone.

I'm gonna clear my head

I'm gonna drink that sun

I'm gonna love you good and strong

While our love is good and young"



Get Out the Map - Indigo Girls

IG Tour Dates....so far

Alrighty - here is the latest for winter tour dates for the Indigo Girls.

December 2007
17 - Tucson, AZ - Tucson Music Hall/The Mountain's 4th Anniversary Holiday Concert

January 2008
24 - Athens, GA - Classic Center
25 - Tallahassee, FL - Musical Moon
26 - Mobile, AL - Saenger Theatre
27 - Birmingham, AL - Alys Stephens Performing Arts Center
29 - Fayetteville, AR - Walton Arts Center
31 - Memphis, TN - Rose Theater

February 2008
1 - Bloomington, IL - Bloomington Center for Performing Arts
2 - Joliet, IL - Rialto Square Theatre

I'm keeping my fingers crossed that they will head this way once they're done with the south/midwest.

I don't mean to be selfish, but I NEED to see an Indigo Girls concert and I need to, SOON. I'm spoiled... from July 2006 - August 2007 I saw them 5 times, and never had to drive more than 2 hours to do so. And to tell you the truth, I believe that they OWE ME a concert. Here is why:

I bought every bit of their music on itunes (I could've file shared!)

I paid full price for every concert

I hung out after the concert in Wilmington to meet them

I left a midterm early so I could see the concert at Wolf Trap (I could've failed!...but I didn't)

I have forced my office mate and my girlfriend to listen to them whenever music listening occassions arise

I have an Indigo Girls Google Alert

I bought their "Watershed" video from Amazon

OH, and one fatefull night I actually camped out for 7 hours so that I could stand right in front of the stage for their concert at Rams Head Live!

I realize that there are others that may THINK that they love the girls more. But I can't afford to wing it around the country to see them every month (yeah, you know who you are).

I'm so effin' dedicated... do you hear me, EMILY SALIERS. Alrighty... gotta go hose off. Thanks ya'll.

Hmmm.. Reindeer games?

According to THE FUTON CRITIC (http://www.thefutoncritic.com/news.aspx?id=20071114cbs02) this is what will be on CBS on Dec. 4th. Wonder what comes on in the middle?

Tuesday, Dec. 4 (8:00-9:00 PM, ET/PT) RUDOLPH THE RED-NOSED REINDEER - The longest running holiday special in television history celebrates its 43rd anniversary in this digitally re-mastered version. Since 1964, millions of families have watched Rudolph and his friends, Hermey the Elf, Yukon Cornelius and the Misfit Toys, save Christmas. The classic "Animagic" special features a world-renowned musical score from Johnny Marks and the voice of legendary performer Burl Ives.
Tuesday, Dec. 4 (10:00-11:00 PM, ET/PT) THE VICTORIA'S SECRET FASHION SHOW - The television debut performance of the Spice Girls and performances by Grammy Award-winning recording artists Kanye West and Seal are scheduled to be featured.

A bill banning discrimination against transgender people in Montgomery County is

All right, hold onto your asses, this one's a doozy! (sorry about the format, it's a little fucked up):

MontCo transgender bill challenged Originally published November 16,
2007 By Sonia
Boin News-Post Staff

A bill banning discrimination against transgender people in Montgomery County is facing a court challenge.
Parents and Friends of Ex-Gays and Gays executive director Regina Griggs said her group, along with the Derwood Alliance Church and Women's Christian Temperance Union of Maryland, has asked a public interest law firm to fight the legislation the Montgomery County Council approved unanimously Tuesday.
The bill covers housing, employment, public accommodations, cable television and taxicab service. It says operators of buildings with rest rooms and locker rooms may designate who can use them. And it gives employers the right to require their employees to adhere to reasonable workplace appearance, grooming and dress standards.
Griggs said the bill is flawed.
"Any time politicians write a law that violates the rights of others by forcibly invading their privacy and forcing faith-based organizations and small employers to hire cross-dressers, it's a bad law."
The bill's original sponsor, council member Duchy Trachtenberg, said she's received spiteful messages and threats over the bill.
"The bill is nothing more and nothing less than civil rights legislation. It's unfortunate that such a small group of very vocal citizens has been able to advance their ideologic preference to get national attention."
Trachtenberg said she's not surprised by the court challenge. Some opponents of the bill have suggested she is transgender, she said. "(They) left a message on my home phone asking my husband if he knows my sex."
The three groups filing the lawsuit went to Advocates of Faith and Freedom, a California-based public interest law firm, before the bill was adopted and the firm notified the council the day after the bill passed that it will be challenged in court.
"The bill doesn't make common or legal sense," Robert H. Tyler, the firm's general counsel, said.
"If someone comes into a store and wants to try on a dress, identifying themself as transgender, how does the owner know he's not a predator or a peeping Tom, or someone who will commit rape?" Tyler said. Speaking by phone from his office in California, he said, "People could be held liable because we are offering them privacy."
Tyler said female residents' right to privacy should prohibit males from using restrooms or locker rooms designated for women. "It is ridiculous to place the desires of persons suffering from gender identity disorder in front of the constitutional rights and safety of 99 percent of the residents in Montgomery County."
In an e-mail sent to the council Tuesday, Tyler said the bill's vague language renders it unconstitutional, infringes on the rights of religious organizations regarding whom they may employ, and puts the safety and privacy of citizens at risk by allowing people with a mental disorder to decide which restrooms, locker rooms and other facilities they use.
He told the council that the American Psychiatric Association classifies gender identity disorder as a treatable mental illness.

Wow! I'm very impressed by this hard hitting news article. It really covers all the bases, and gives us the point of view of all sides...NOT.

Seriously though, even though I come from an uber-conservative/neo-nazi area of the country, articles like this still shock the shit outta me. My particularly favorite statement follows:

"If someone comes into a store and wants to try on a dress, identifying
themself as transgender, how does the owner know he's not a predator or a
peeping Tom, or someone who will commit rape?" Tyler said. Speaking by phone
from his office in California, he said, "People could be held liable because we
are offering them privacy."

SO! If I go into a Red-Wing Store and buy the dykiest pair of boots that I can (steal toe, tan leather...) will they refuse to sell them to me because I might be a rapist or a peeping Jane? It goes both ways, people.

But that is beside the point. Even in a fairly enlightened, non-isolated area like Montgomery County - an area that is practically within walking distance of our nation's capital - prejudices like these still exist. And, in true mainstream press media -fashion...the squakers are getting the most ink. Ugh.

OH - here's the link, if you want to see it for yourself. And don't forget to check out the comments left by the enlightened and accepting Frederick News-Post readers.

http://www.fredericknewspost.com/sections/news/display_comments.htm?StoryID=67688#postComments

Have a nice day.

Lisa's dancing makes my feet sad

I love the Simpsons. Here they are as anime. Damn, those twins are creepy...