Then days so still the beauty gives you pain

It's time for another "Emily Saliers is a Genius Moment" here at The Name of Your Band...

From what I understand, this song was written by Emily about her late sister. She has an incredible way of expressing loss - what it is like to live without someone, even while the world keeps turning.

She's Saving Me (Indigo Girls)

We were sitting round a dying fire, somebody lit incense
somebody lit a cigarette and passed the bottle around
It was just strawberry season, backbreaking pickers in the patches
everything's burning down to ashes and down to the ground
She's saving me I don't even think she knows it
It's a strange way to show it as distant as last night's dream unravels
She's saving me I'm a very lost soul I was born with a hole in my heart
The size of my land locked travels
I try to put it aside but it's too much bigger than me there's a big brown hawk in the tree
Lighting and leaving
There's tea leaves tossing, heads up pennies in my pocket,
dead star like a rocket, the arc of my grieving
She's saving me I don't even think she knows it
It's a strange way to show it as distant as last night's dream unravels
She's saving me I'm a very lost soul I was born with a hole in my heart
The size of my land locked travels
The sky pours out biblical rain
Then days so still the beauty gives you pain
The heatwave kills the green and she remains unseen
But colors up my dream with all things blooming
This is not all there is it's not a kingdom it's not an angry god
It feels like her
It feels like no fear, it feels like no doubt, it feels like inside out
The ashes stir
She's saving me I don't really think she knows it
It's a strange way to show it as distant as last night's dream unravels
She's saving me I'm a very lost soul
I was born with a hole in my heart as wide as my land locked travels

And you could hear the pages flapping in the wind blown book of my days

A few weeks ago my GF and I spent a drunken weekend at the beach in Rehoboth, DE. During a particularly snockered moment, I decided to sing karaoke. There were two Indigo Girls songs in the book to choose from - Fill It Up Again (which I "sang") and (SHOCKING!!!) Closer to Fine. Why FIUA? I don't know...seemed random, but whatev. So, in my inebriated state, as I publicly slaughtered the song that Emily Saliers probably spent months, if not years, crafting, I recall having this thought:

"I had NO idea that these were the words to this song!"

SO! - In honor of Emily and her genius, and because of the fact that I have not given her lyrics the attention that they deserve, I am posting them here. Enjoy.

Won't have you see me as your sad sack Lost my something and I can't get it back
Or a kill on your trophy rack I checked my schedule now my train is rolling down a track
Past the sadness of the salt flats To the prospect of the land fat
Or just a lazy orange house cat On the sofa where I'll be put up
You've been the hole in my sky, my shrinking water supply
Before my well runs dry I'm going round round round the bend
Fill it up again
I'd like to say that it was clear to me Love triangle geometry
But in the end it's still a mystery The placement of affection and the disarray
I gathered up the courage that it took Made that bed and took one last look
And you could hear the pages flapping in the wind blown Book of my days, my days (refrain) One tank gone second thoughts are on my mind
What's this trip gonna cost me this time
The devil I know is starting to look awfully kind
But the new road is an old friend
Fill it up again (refrain montage)

Bad Blogger

Okay, I admit it. I've been remiss. I haven't blogged and I'm ashamed. It isn't because I don't have things to say... I'm just lazy. But here I am, unemployed, waiting to start school again... and I'm going to do better. I SWEAR.


Now the problem is, I can't POSSIBLY blog about everything that has had an effect on my life in the last 6 months... and there really has been oh so much. So here is a list of things that I would talk about if I had been blogging all this time.


#1 - Amy Ray's new CD - Didn't It Feel Kinder is a work of art. The more I listen, the more I want to sit down with her and just talk things over. My favorite is "Bus Bus". And the publicity that she is getting is amazing. I get at least 5 google alerts on her a day. If I could say one thing to Amy Ray, it would be this: "Please - in the name of all that is holy - play Washington DC or Baltimore on your promotional tour... I'm dying to see your solo show." So yeah, there you go.

By the way - she looks like my girlfriend in this picture AND I'm not just saying that because I want it to be true - I've heard it said by way too many other people for it not to be true.

#2 - I stumbled onto Rachel Maddow by accident one night. I was skipping through the channels one night, and there she was - sitting in for Keith Olberman. The gay-dar went off of course - even in make-up this girl is obviously a lesbian. So of course, I was mezmerized and made it my goal to learn everything about her that I could. Not two days later (and quite coincidentally) my good friend Katie (a much more superior blogger than myself) posted about Rachel. And now the news has come out (no pun intended) that Rachel is getting her own show on MSNBC. Let me tell you - Rush Limbaugh is thrilled. I would give you the link to his quote, but I don't want to promote his website in ANY WAY...so to save you that agony, I'll just throw it in here

"There's our buddy Dan Abrams, by the way, the last voice you heard there. Again,
he's been replaced by Rachel Maddow, or will be, in early September. He's losing
his show to somebody with more testosterone than he has. It's just a shame."

Ick... I need a shower.

And finally ....

#3 - It is everyone's civic duty to go out and get - AND THEN READ - this book:

Yes, that is Animal, Vegetable, Miracle by Barbara Kingsolver. It will change the way that you look at your food forever (but not in that gross way like Skinny Bitch). Think you are being socially responsible by eating tofurky at Thanksgiving? Think again!

More later.

Up on the Watershed

Okay, I'm going to say it. I think it is slightly sneaky and unoriginal, and well...shitty, that k.d. lang has named her new album Watershed. It's not like Emily Saliers and the Indigo Girls have a copyright on the word, but it just seems wrong that the more commercially successful lang is...yeah, I'll say it... stealing Watershed from Saliers. What's her deal? She can't think of her own cool, at the crossroads of life motto? Seriously, k.d.? Where's your loyalty? And when the songs from this album end up on crappy-ass adult contemporary radio, will it somehow eclipse the original? Well, not in my eyes..but it still seems wrong somehow. It irks me. I'm irked.

I'm worried about Emily Saliers. She's sick, and the Indigo Girls have been canceling concerts left and right. I'm disappointed that I won't be seeing them tonight in Richmond, but mostly I'm just worried about Emily. I think it would be hard to be on the road, never sleeping in your own bed, and miserably sick. [I also have a secret fear that an experience like that will cause her to throw up her hands, say "enough" and walk away from touring...but banish the thought!]. But here's hoping she finally has the time to recover and that the rescheduled Richmond show is on a night when I can go.

I've got your back, Emily.

Indigo Lyrics of the Week (or month, or whatever, I just like this song)

"And it's alright if you hate that way, hate me cause I'm different, hate me cause I'm gay
Truth of the matter come around one day so it's alright
I look at this lifeline stretched way all across my hand
I look at the burned out empty like a plague across the land
And for everything I learn there are two I don't understand
That's why I'm still on a search through the weather strewn church I'm doing the best
I can and it's alright...

And it's alright though I feel afraid my plans in pieces my plans mislaid
It's the will of the way the will of the way the will of the only way
that could have brought me here today and it's alright."

It's Alright - Emily Saliers

New Years Resolutions...

Okay, so I've decided to post my resolutions. My strategy for doing this is two-fold: a) If I put them on paper (digitally speaking) then I will own those resolutions for myself - I can't say that I didn't know what I wanted; b) I will have others keeping tabs on me... which just out of pride and stubbornness will hopefully spur me forward towards fulfilling said resolutions. SO - here they are!

Liz's Resolutions for 2008!!

Financial (hey, I didn't say they would all be exciting) -
1) Pay down credit card bills
2) Get my interest rates lowered on my credit cards
3) Look for other ways to build and strenghten my credit
4) Create a savings account and actually put money into it

Health-
1) Stick to a vegetarian diet, including eating VERY little dairy and VERY little sugar
2) Do the Couch-to-5K Running Plan
3) Do strength training 3 times a week
4) By the Fall of 2008 I want to be physically fit enough to join/participate in this group (in particular, I want to learn how to rock climb and I want to do a bike trip and a canoe trip (yeah, I know... that's not that "particular")

Personal-
1) Take more time for reading
2) Learn how to make patterns and sew my own clothes
3) Create a career website for Women in the for-profit and non-profit sectors
4) Blog more (hehe.... *gulp*)
5) Take the time from school and work to attend at least 2(!) Pride Festivals and at least 3 (but hopefully more) Indigo Girls concerts
6) Find some honest-to-goodness friends to be my urban family
7) Find a way to bring the LGBT community in Frederick and surrounding areas together

Professional -
1) Take the job that I have now and try to put some creative spins on it to make it more interesting
2) Figure out what it is that I REALLY want to do for a living and create myself a path to get there

Alright, I've laid it all out there. Any comments or words of encouragement would be greatly appreciated.

Indigo Girls Lyric of the Week

I heard that you were drunk and mean down at the dairy queen.

There's just enough of you in me for me to have sympathy.

And take it in stride, I know I had mine.

And you were as kind, I am told.

Ain't it funny how we lose one day and a lifetime slips away.

I'm looking back on us that way, something I never thought I'd say.

~AR

Look Both Ways

I've just finished (after much distraction, procrastination, and general silliness) Jennifer Baumgardner's most recent book: Look Both Ways - Bisexual Politics. Now - just a little back story on Baumgardner herself and my purchase of the book.

Baumgardner moved into the limelight with her first work Manifesta: Young Women, Feminism and the Future (with writing partner Amy Richards). I haven't read it. Her new work, LBW, is an interesting, if not slightly schizophrenic, leap into the bisexual WOMAN's role in the worlds of feminism and lesbianism. She discusses her own life and relationships at length, including a few stories about Amy Ray, one half of the Indigo Girls. Here's the hitch. Contrary to what other's might think, I did not pick up this book and decide to read it because it had anything to do with Amy Ray. In fact, I was driven to put it down for several weeks when Baumgardner began speaking intimately about AR. I just didn't want to know. I've put both Amy Ray and Emily Saliers on pedestals, I didn't want it ruined. I didn't want to know that AR was some sort of butch lesbian Lothario (even though I have heard rumors of it before this book). I didn't want to know that she was sleeping with and loving a droll, blond bisexual. But I eventually recovered and came to peace with trying to understand AR as a person, not just as the musical and political genius that I have pigeon-holed her to be.

But I digress. When I purchased the book, my girlfriend immediately questioned whether I considered myself a bisexual. At this I was highly offended. I've had relationships with men, I identified myself as straight for most of my life, and I was married to a man. But once I came to terms with the gaps in my life - the gay gaps - as I call them, I gratefully and willingly embraced the label of "lesbian." But the truth of the matter is, I still like men. While it is tempting to write off the entire male of the species as misogynistic pigs, lacking sensitivity or intellectual depth, I see examples everyday that prove this untrue. There are men in my life that I laugh with, flirt with, and are attracted to. But that has very little to do with my choice to be a lesbian. Being a lesbian is like being part of the club that I never knew I always wanted to be in. We are funny, we are brash, we are sensitive and honest and passionate and complex. Why wouldn't one want to join? And I have, and it is by choice. That is the sticking point, for myself and for Baumgardner. She seems driven to point out that some choose homosexual relationships, for the sex, for the closeness, for many reasons. But some have no choice. Ironically, some of those with a natural predisposition of homosexual attractions have exluded and belittled those that are predisposed to vacillate between sexualities. Sadly, while the gay community has pushed at length for acceptance of the homosexual lifestyle, it has also bred a reverse bigotry towards those that choose not to commit to a choice.

And while I saw little in the way of politics - and little in the way of a cohesive message (like I have room to talk) - I was moved by the book to give more consideration to bisexuality, lesbian sexuality, and the need for labels in a culture that has worked so dilligently to promote acceptance.

Lyric- line of the week

"Don't drink the water

there seems to be something ailing everyone.

I'm gonna clear my head

I'm gonna drink that sun

I'm gonna love you good and strong

While our love is good and young"



Get Out the Map - Indigo Girls

IG Tour Dates....so far

Alrighty - here is the latest for winter tour dates for the Indigo Girls.

December 2007
17 - Tucson, AZ - Tucson Music Hall/The Mountain's 4th Anniversary Holiday Concert

January 2008
24 - Athens, GA - Classic Center
25 - Tallahassee, FL - Musical Moon
26 - Mobile, AL - Saenger Theatre
27 - Birmingham, AL - Alys Stephens Performing Arts Center
29 - Fayetteville, AR - Walton Arts Center
31 - Memphis, TN - Rose Theater

February 2008
1 - Bloomington, IL - Bloomington Center for Performing Arts
2 - Joliet, IL - Rialto Square Theatre

I'm keeping my fingers crossed that they will head this way once they're done with the south/midwest.

I don't mean to be selfish, but I NEED to see an Indigo Girls concert and I need to, SOON. I'm spoiled... from July 2006 - August 2007 I saw them 5 times, and never had to drive more than 2 hours to do so. And to tell you the truth, I believe that they OWE ME a concert. Here is why:

I bought every bit of their music on itunes (I could've file shared!)

I paid full price for every concert

I hung out after the concert in Wilmington to meet them

I left a midterm early so I could see the concert at Wolf Trap (I could've failed!...but I didn't)

I have forced my office mate and my girlfriend to listen to them whenever music listening occassions arise

I have an Indigo Girls Google Alert

I bought their "Watershed" video from Amazon

OH, and one fatefull night I actually camped out for 7 hours so that I could stand right in front of the stage for their concert at Rams Head Live!

I realize that there are others that may THINK that they love the girls more. But I can't afford to wing it around the country to see them every month (yeah, you know who you are).

I'm so effin' dedicated... do you hear me, EMILY SALIERS. Alrighty... gotta go hose off. Thanks ya'll.